c Explain what is known of the loss

c Are there things people said or did that made you feel better?

c How do you think our classmate might be feeling?

c What could you say that might help him/her know you care? Guide
          students responses towards helpful comments and away from less
           helpful comments.

c What would you want someone to say to you if you experienced the
          death of  someone close?

c Are there things you could do that may help them feel better?

c We can take our cues from the person that will guide our actions.
          What might some of those cues be?

c The classmate probably feels like he/she is from a different planet when
          returning to school

c At least say, "hello," "welcome back," "I’m glad to see you," or
          something similar

c The brave might even say: "I missed you," "I’m so sorry to hear

        about  your ’s death."

c Even braver friends might make statements like, "It must be incredibly

          tough to have your die."

c Other options include: write a brief note or card, call, etc.

c If your classmate cries, that is okay; you did not cause the grief; offer
          comfort and a tissue

c Offer to provide past notes from missed classes

c Offer to provide notes for comparison for the next week or so
          (your classmate’s attention span will probably vary for several weeks)

c Give the classmate your phone number to call if having problems with homework

c Ask your classmate if you can call to check on how homework is going

c Offer to study together in person or over the phone; this might help with
          both motivation and with concentration; grieving students frequently do
          not feel like doing school work

c Don’t shun the student, speak to them

c No cliché statements (e.g., "I know how you feel" when nobody knows
          the unique relationship the classmate had with the deceased)

c Don’t expect the person to snap back into the "old self"

c Don’t be surprised if classmate seems unaffected by the loss, everybody
          has his/her own way of grieving

c Don’t be afraid to ask appropriate questions about the deceased, like "what
          did you and your enjoy together?" (people often like to talk about the
           people they grieve)

c Just because the classmate may seem to be adjusting to school again,
          don’t assume the grieving has stopped, nor the need for comfort and friendship